| god damn landon |
[24 Aug 2003|07:38pm] |
ok, i said i was never going to write in this damn thing again, however a friend of mine said to, so, HEY LANDON. you are the coolest kid EVER. Maria
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| My last entry |
[09 Jul 2002|05:38pm] |
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I haven't written in here for a long time so I decided to make this my last entry ever. So long journal.
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| Old people can be cool sometimes |
[08 Jun 2002|10:48pm] |
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exanimate |
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This happened yesterday.I was out to dinner with my mommy and the sweetest thing happened. A bunch of old couples came up to me, and whispered in my ear that I was beautiful, and that I should become a model. I started blushing, and it was my self esteem booster of the day. Yay. lol. Although they were probably just being nice, it was still kind, and there are really nice old people out there.
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| Wow, I really am crazy... |
[11 May 2002|09:43pm] |
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hyper |
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Whoa. I feel so energetic,for no reason. I drove today(oh yeah oh yeah) all the way from haverhill and okee. all the way to the Winn Dixie on Jog and some other road in Lantana. Right now, I am baking a cake, whoa, who would have guessed, Maria, baking, move over Martha Stewart. I hate baking, it actually kinda sucks, lol. I have nothing to say at all, but I love babbling over absolutely nothing. I am So hyper. WHOA!
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| Whoa HOOO |
[21 Apr 2002|02:04pm] |
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Oh yeah, im great, im almost done writing my short story for Mr.Twa,and I think its funny, and its so great...oh yeah...oh yeah. You all may be wondering,"whats the big deal?" well, the big deal is I've had writers block for 2 whole freakin' months, and now I cant stop writing. oh yeah, well gotta go eat now, and yes I do eat.
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| Everyday gets a little bit better |
[08 Apr 2002|09:15pm] |
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pleased |
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My dad finally called me. Whoa, after a long ass time, he finally called, and this weekend i finally get to see him after about 2 years, maybe even 3, I kinda lost count already. But, its cool that atleast he called, that put a little smile on my face.
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| SLEEP< SLEEP> SLEEP> SLEEP> |
[25 Mar 2002|12:40am] |
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OMG. Ive been awake for literally three days! I cant sleep. Ive been going out until 4:30 for two nights, then waking up an hour later...I need sleep, but i cant get any.Im sitting at my computer listening to a cd i had burnt, and im jumping all over the place. I feel like im running on batteries that are freakin' running on the small amount of juice left in it...but wont die. ive had batteries like that. i listen to my cd player everyday for 2 hours on the bus and they didnt die for like 2 months...it was crazy! Oh man, does this mean no sleep for 2 months?! Ozzy was a hot man.My spring break turned out not so bad. I am highly suprised man.Except for the fact that i cant sleep,but im sure in about an hour when its 1:40 something I'll be able to go to sleep. I'll make myself. Isnt it weird that we spend most of our life sleeping? what a fucking waste. we could do soooo much with the time we take to sleep, but i like sleep, especially if your in a bad mood..(go to sleep) or if your hungry..just go to sleep..wake up and no more hungar..or atleast in my case.lol. Well...im gonna try and get some sleep.
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| Whoa..my wild wild spring break. |
[17 Mar 2002|06:49pm] |
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Maria has no life so I want you to give me some good movies for me to rent over spring break...starting my spring break..I rented Boogie Nights and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, so kindly recommended by my friend Krystle.
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| Al's the man. |
[17 Mar 2002|06:41pm] |
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morose |
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Just for your knowledge..heres the movies Al Pachino has done.
1. Insomina 2.Chinese Coffee 3.The Insider 4. Any given sunday 5.Donnie Brasco 6.The Devil's Advocate 7.Pitch 8.Looking for Richard 9.City Hall 10.Heat 11. two Bits 12.Jonas in the desert 13.Carlito's way 14. Glengarry glem ross 15. Scent of a woman 16. Frankie and Johnny 17. Madonna: Truth or Dare 18. Dick Tracy 19.The Godfather Part 3 20.Sea of love 21.Revolution 22.Scarface 23.Author!Author! 24.The godfather 1902-1959: the complete epic 25.Cruising..and justice for all 26.Bobby Deerfield 27.The godfather saga 28.America at the movies 29.Dog Day Afternoon 30.The godfather 31.The Panic in Needle Park 32. Me, Nathalie
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| Man.this sucks. |
[13 Mar 2002|08:02pm] |
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Man! I have the worst case of writers block! This is not the time for it either, especially when I want to begin working on Mr.Twa's short story!!! Grrr...man, hopefully over the weekend something brilliant will come to me. Maybe in my sleep, I dream some really weird stuff.
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| Ignatius Loyola |
[09 Mar 2002|08:30pm] |
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OHHHHH?. I just noticed. OK. I?ve been working on this project for Ms.Reece and this guy Ignatius Loyola was a Spanish nobleman who was the key element to the Counter Reformation, in which the Catholics wanted more discipline in their faith. Well this guy taught that everyone?s duty was to ?promote the teachings of the church unquestionably? Loyola said that if the church ruled that black was white, the followers were obligated to believe it. Well, ok here?s the point I?m trying to get to, I was watching the news and this priest was arrested for molesting this kid, and the churches name was Ignatius Loyola!!! Why would you want to go to a church with that guys name, I don?t believe in his teachings! I bet no one who goes to that church knows that. Man, this just keeps making my point to my mom about Christianity!!!
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[09 Mar 2002|08:27pm] |
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I just watched American History X. Wow! Everyone knows I rarely ever cry. But I cried like 5 times in this movie! It hit close to home. I grew up in Homestead, Florida, where all there was Cubans, Blacks, and whites, and I had to see things like racism everyday. I remember once my mom braided my hair, and I went over to my father?s house, and he made me take them out saying ?I wont have my daughter turn into a nigger.? Nothing could ever describe the pain I felt that day. I often found myself disliking people that are ?ghetto?, which could be used to define any culture, white, black, or Hispanic. But that just describes the attitude of some. I really think everyone should watch this movie. God, I am still crying?lol. I feel like an idiot, sitting here at my computer crying over a movie. The part that made me cry a lot?than the obvious, I wont say the obvious part for those who haven?t seen the movie, but the other part when they started taking down the posters from the wall. I started balling like a fucking baby man. That was so powerful. There was no wasted footage in the movie either; every fucking scene had meaning. God, man, I remember being in the third grade, and this kid (who had a shaved head) walked up to me when I was singing a song I had stuck in my head, he said, ?Stop singing that nigger music.? I couldn?t help but beat the living shit out of him?but I didn?t get in trouble. How can an 8year old kid walk up to another 8 year old kid and say things like that? Taking a less serious step back, fuck man Edward Norton was fucking hot?whoa?can we say nice ass fucking body? I also think Edward Furlong (I think that?s his last name) is quit pretty. His has this presence on screen. I recognized him from a couple other movies. I mean here they take an over done thing, white vs. black, but they made it sooo powerful. It wasn?t like mind-boggling or anything, but the message I got from it was simple. I started crying more at the end when you see the paper (not ruining the movie for anyone) like on the floor. Ahh man, lol. I mean this movie was simple, but yet so wonderful, but it wasn?t simple in the sense of most movies. Grrr?I don?t know how to explain it. I think though you can appreciate movies more when you can relate to it. It weird, because my mom used to date skinheads and stuff, but not the racist type, I mean some were, but they didn?t approve of all and me being mixed. Growing up my Bahamian/Indian cousins would call me ?cracker? because of my father, and they told me I couldn?t play with them because I was a ?cracker?. So, I grew up thinking they were bad, and that all people were like that. My sister?s pigmentation is white (did I use that word the right way?), and I came out tan. It?s just weird. Living in Miami, its like it?s a huge melting pot of cultures, so it was ok, and I was accepted. My sister and I would run home crying sometimes when we first moved to west palm from Miami because people weren?t accepting?my mom told us that we were special, and it made it all ok. Its weird how a movie can draw emotions out of you that were dormant for so long. I know it probably wasn?t intended for that, and maybe im just a complete idiot, but that?s ok. Thanks for recommending I see this movie. : )
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| I just killed myself thinking. |
[08 Mar 2002|08:55pm] |
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I wonder what its like to drown.
Imagine someone tieing bricks to your legs and throwing you into the ocean. What images would flash through you mind? Its not like being shot, or even being hit by a car. Its like you are actually conscious, thinking, and also panicking. You can feel your life slip away as you run out of oxygen. Im not sure but I hear you throw up when you are drowning, and you pass out right before you die. So when you pass out...at that very moment you know your going to die within a matter of minutes. Do you know what i find disgusting about dieing also? When you die you empty all the wastes in your body.
ON the topic of things i find gross...I think its gross when woman have chilren. Afterbirth man!! gross! Child birth sounds way too painful. I used to wonder if you wanted a hysterectomy you could just get one so you wouldnt have any children. they can just take everything out.
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| Please...you all know you love this song, lol. I have it stuck in my head |
[07 Mar 2002|07:17pm] |
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Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the skies and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Because I'm easy come, easy go A little high, little low Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, just killed a man Put a gun against his head Pulled my trigger, now he's dead Mama, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, ooo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come Sends shivers down my spine Body's aching all the time Goodbye everybody - I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me He's just a poor boy from a poor family Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come easy go - will you let me go Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go Will not let you go - let me go (never) Never let you go - let me go Never let me go - ooo No, no, no, no, no, no, no - Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me for me for me
So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye So you think you can love me and leave me to die Oh baby - can't do this to me baby Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here
Ooh yeah, ooh yeah Nothing really matters Anyone can see Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me
Anyway the wind blows...
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| People suck sometimes... |
[06 Mar 2002|07:04pm] |
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Do you ever notice how some people are soo wrapped up in their own lives that they never take the time to ask how other people are feeling, and sincerely meaning it? Everyone else always has their own little problems that they neglect the better things in life. Like life itself. So..Im asking everyone...how are you? Sincerely answer to. Me, Im fed up. I hate liars, and even more I hate liars. but oh well.. just everyone tell me how they are :)
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| MUAHHH... |
[04 Mar 2002|06:56pm] |
I was just sitting in my little chair..on my little computer, in this little room..thinking the little thought of "what would I consider to be the worst torture for a guy and then for a girl..so here it goes.
Guy: Someone would first prank call their house and send them a tape of them fucking his girl friend. Then..while he's taking a shower, break open the and pistol wipe him. After ward..drag him out of the shower...and into a bedroom..get him sexually aroused..and tease him for a little while .After he has a fully aroused...start to "work on him" to the verge of "explosion", but dont let it "erupt" instead give him blue balls. After that is complete...take the biggest knife that you have..and blind fold the guy (of course you've tied him up by now) and slowly cut the tip of his penis little by little...slowly just start to cut near every sensitive part of his body. After he is brutally hurt...being nice and not cutting it off though...go get plyers. Take the blind fold off, and show him the plyers...put the blind fold back on..and just leave him there..thinking you are going to torture him with the plyers...
Girl: You guys reply and let me know what you think would be a good torture (realistic please) for a girl.
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| Blah Blah Blah |
[26 Feb 2002|08:30pm] |
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I went to teen court tonight...yep...it was boring. Not everyone was there today :( Oh well...
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| Everyone can be hypocritical... |
[25 Feb 2002|05:31pm] |
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I really dont like the active dislike that has been happening lately. Im going to use names, because at this point and time I am really fed up. Ok...Ben, you know I love you to pieces, but you are being hypociritcal, and thats ok because we can all be hypocrits at times, but what you need to know is that no one has ever said anything bad about you. When Justin makes a joke its a joke, Justin maybe you should cut down on the amount of jokes you make about Ben, and Ben you do the same. Ben, you make jokes about me all the time. It seems a lot of the time im always the one being made fun of, but you know what I brush it off and let it go because you are my friend, I know your kidding, and I let it go. Justin makes innocent jokes, let it go. it bothers me that you sat there in your live journal, and said you wish theyd kill themselves, jesus Ben, what the fuck?! That was really uncalled for! I think they are really smart, they dont throw it around. Ben, I think you have substance and I know you dont care about my opinion, because you've told me so. Right to my face you told me "I really couldnt give a fuck what you think" and hey thats fine with me. But i honestly think your an awesome person, as well as everyone in the mafia gang, and our little group. Im adressing this to Ben because hes the one to have the biggest issue with certain people, whom ive had the best pleasure in knowing. I think Justin and Kry are very smart, if you ever have the pleasure of getting to know them that would be awesome. For one thing, I honestly, honestly, love everyone and it really hurts me to hear people just badmouthing others, FUCK, get to know people first before pointing fingers. Ben, you always said you believed in giving other people a chance, you've never given anyone a chance, what do you expect, when you are an asshole to people, what do you expect in return, do you expect them to bake you fucking cookies? Dont take this the wrong way, everyone has problems, and Im not lying the blame on you at all. Im an asshole at times too, i really am. But, hey, at least I dont judge just based on a few innocent comments.
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| In the end they are still there... |
[22 Feb 2002|04:56pm] |
Although we have been disagreeing, and really getting on each others nerves lately, I just wanted to let my musketeers that they are special, and I love them. I love all my other friends as well, but with these other friends we have been battling it out. Erica, Kayla, Meg, you guys are always there for me, always. I dont want us to disagree or fight. You guys were there from the start, or atleast Erica and Kay were, but soon Meg came and It feels like shes always been there. Not to forget Benji, who always tends to make me laugh by insulting me, I need someone there to keep me on my toes.
Erica: You were my best friend from day 30 of 6th grade. At first, we were at war for "that guy" but we grew together and we were insepertable. We have really been through a lot together and you know it, probably more than with any of my other friends, But i know you. I know what exists deep in your heart, and you are truly a unique and beautiful person. And I apologize for all the times that I've made you cry, or made you feel like you werent special, because you are.
Kayla: You are also my best friend. Without your kind words and love, I dont know how I would have gotten through school life. You have been inspiring to both Erica and I. You are truly great. Sometimes we fight, but i need a punching bag. We always make up. we forgive each other, just like friends do. I used to think you werent beautiful, and before like 10 minutes ago, Ive reestablished my definition of what made a person beautiful, and you are it. Im sorry for any time in your life that Ive made you feel like you werent beautiful.
Meg: God, what would we do without you? Sometimes you really, really, really piss me off, but I NEED that, life isnt always peaches and cream. You can usually make me laugh, And im also sorry for at any moment i made you feel inferior or not worthy of my friendship because you are. Im not worthy of your friendship, so I look upon it as a blessing that I have the privilage to be your friend. I love you and your hair, and I would never try and brush it.
I just wanted my three musketeers to know that no matter what, we will always be friends, and I love you. God, that was really hard for me to open up and say. but there.
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